IT’S A TRAP!

Don’t do it!

This is not worth your money. Do not buy it. Every fiber in your Millenial being wants to be hip and trendy — DON’T!

This drink is, without question, the worst thing I have consumed in the past six weeks.

(Don’t ask.)

Mango? Who would have thought! That the PINK and PURPLE and BLUE drink would almost entirely be made of Mango??

This drink is worse than Ed Sheeran’s most recent album — and if that doesn’t make my point, nothing else will.

YOU WILL REGRET IT.

I don’t even want to type the name because I fear that someone has not yet heard about it, and by not telling them the name, they will be spared the pain of DRINKING 59 GRAMS OF SUGAR THRU A STRAW.

The onset of diabetes is determined by two separate things: first, the person must already have the necessary genes; second, something must physiologically activate the expression of those genes. The gun must have a bullet in the chamber, and then the trigger must be pulled. For some onset cases, the patient had consumed a dramatic amount of sugar — enough to overload the pancreas’s (vastly reduced by genes) ability to break down blood glucose. The pancreas stops functioning momentarily, or for a period of time, and the trigger has been pulled.

This drink may have the potential to do something along these general lines that may or may not reflect actual medical science about diabetes for which I am no qualified specialist to give you advice. But it’s probably still safe to take caution?

Not to mention that it tastes like glitter and Ugg boots blended with an expired mango and a plastic phone case manufactured by wage slaves in Shenzhen, Guangdong province.

By the way, speaking of terrible conditions in other countries, I should mention that for $4.35 you can cover the cost to purchase and distribute one malaria net in Malawi via the Against Malaria Foundation.

This drink costs $4.95 before tax.